Date night sounds great… that is, until you’re trying to get out the door with a screaming toddler clinging to your knees. Setting your babysitter up for success is a triple win: happier kids, happier sitter, and you get the break you deserve! If your kids could use some convincing, here are a few tips that we’ve found to work:

Choose wisely.
Safety is your first priority, but fun can’t be far behind if the goal is to get your kids on board. A responsible college babysitter is the sweet spot, as far as we’re concerned: high energy, fun, but also more responsible than your typical high schooler. We started QuadJobs with the mission of helping busy parents reach all the terrific college students available for babysitting right in their own community. Then we added performance reviews, so parents could see if the student had done a great job for other local families. Babysitting remains our #1 job.

Prep your kids.
Let your kids know a few fun facts about their babysitter (“Lauren plays lacrosse, like you, and she’s going to show you some moves in the backyard.) Talk about what they can expect while you’re gone. If you really want to go the extra mile, hire the sitter to come over and do something fun for a few hours while you’re home.

Prep the sitter.
Write down any info the babysitter will need for your evening out and be specific. You can also fill her in on the dynamics of different personalities in your family. Will one kid likely push the limits of bedtime? Let her know what to expect and give advice on how to deal with the challenges that often pop up.

Add some perks.
It never hurts to sweeten the deal! Favorites include: Ordering take-out, watching a special show, or simply extending bedtime by 30 minutes. Maybe a babysitter always means the kids get to make ice cream sundaes. Think about what makes most sense for your family.

Set up a fun project.
Bust out the play dough, the manicure kit, the arts and crafts, or the sports gear – and let the kids enjoy a special activity while you’re out. A babysitter who doesn’t know your family well can benefit from specific ideas about what your kids will love doing.

Ask for feedback.
Check in with your kids the next day to see how the evening went. What did they do that was fun? Maybe there’s something you can address to help things run more smoothly next time.

It may seem like a lot of effort when all you want is a night out – but creating good vibes on the babysitter front will pay off.

QuadJobs is an online platform connecting college and graduate students to local jobs.  From Saturday night babysitting to moving a couch to helping a local business during a busy time, students find flexible jobs that fit into whatever free time they have. By streamlining the employment connection between campus and community, QuadJobs unlocks jobs particularly well-suited for students’ busy, often changing schedules.  The platform tracks every job a student takes and gathers performance reviews.  Small jobs matter—they help a student network, earn income, and build a track record of work experience.  Local employers can hire with efficiency and confidence.

Last week, standing at the bus stop to pick up my kids, I could feel a nervous energy pulsing from the woman next to me. She must have checked her watch 5 times as she waited for her child to emerge from the bus. Noticing me noticing her, she leaned over and whispered, “I’ve got to get home! I left my other daughter alone at the house.”

“How old is your daughter?” I asked.

“She’s ten.”

It’s funny how much has changed since I was ten. Like many of my friends, by age ten I was being paid to babysit neighborhood children. I was in fifth grade, decent at getting kids down to bed on time, and had a basic understanding of what to do in emergencies. As an adult, I don’t know many friends who’d hire a 10 year old to babysit for the evening. Frankly, I wouldn’t. I wasn’t surprised at the Mom’s urgency to get home to her daughter. I could easily imagine feeling the same way.

So what age is old enough to be left alone at home?

It’s become a hot-button question that elicits a wide range of responses. The law seems like a good place to start, but the law varies widely between states. In New York state, for example, there is no law dictating how old a child has to be before you can leave him alone. New York’s Child Protective Services website does offer some helpful guidelines: “Some children are responsible, intelligent, and independent enough to be left along at 12 or 13 years of age… Parents and guardians need to make intelligent, reasoned decisions regarding these matters.”

In fact, only three States currently have laws regarding a minimum age for leaving a child home alone. Illinois law requires children to be 14 years old before being left alone; in Maryland, the minimum age is 8, while in Oregon, children must be 10 before being left home alone. For most of the country, this question remains a judgment call for parents.

Being too restrictive robs kids of critical independence. But how can we determine when our child is responsible enough to handle being alone?

In my family, at least, the best answer lies in taking baby steps. Our oldest daughter, who is now 8, can handle being at home for short periods of time, and I’ve noticed that she’s very reliable when asked to keep an eye on her youngest sister. I let her “babysit” when I’m home but need my hands free. It’s genuinely helpful and it’s made me optimistic that she’ll be ready for real babysitting duty in the not-so-distant future. She’s also allowed to walk to a friend’s house in our neighborhood. It involves crossing a pretty busy street. I helped her cross at first, then watched as she crossed—and now she just heads out the door.

These decisions are anything but one-size-fits-all. Another parent might think we’re being too laissez faire (but compared to my own childhood, I often feel my kids are in lockdown). And I’m not sure these milestones will be the same for her younger siblings. For us, this question of independence – to stay home unsupervised, to get places solo, even to babysit younger siblings and eventually neighborhood kids – will follow a watch-as-we-go, earn-our-trust-in-stages approach.

What kind of freedom do you give your kids? Have they stayed home alone, and starting at what age? We’d love to hear from you – send us your thoughts at [email protected].

QuadJobs is an online platform connecting college and graduate students to local jobs.  From Saturday night babysitting to moving a couch to helping a local business during a busy time, students find flexible jobs that fit into whatever free time they have. By streamlining the employment connection between campus and community, QuadJobs unlocks jobs particularly well-suited for students’ busy, often changing schedules.  The platform tracks every job a student takes and gathers performance reviews.  Small jobs matter—they help a student network, earn income, and build a track record of work experience.  Local employers can hire with efficiency and confidence.